Should leaders lead with emotion? Is there scope in a world that is fast losing its collective consciousness for emotional leadership?
My objective here is not to give you a yes/no answer, however lead you toward determining the answer for yourself.
If we ask, what is the definition of leadership? I’m sure that after 20mins of brain storming well come up with a definition fit for academic referencing, however in its simplest terms, in the words of John Maxwell (author of the 21 irrefutable laws of leadership) ‘leadership is influence nothing more nothing less’.
If we ask a second question, who is a leader or great leader? We might be tempted to mention some government leaders, political leaders, religious leaders, company directors & CEO – yes all these are true [positional leaders], in addition to them [real leaders] – you & I are leaders and role models, also coming from the world of martial arts we’ll include in our list of leaders & role models Sporting Athletes –whom tend to be, a group of very influential role models and leaders.
In the arena of sports, in the dynamism of sporting competition, we are sometimes put in situations where our emotions get the better of us; during these moments what do you do? How do you control your emotions? Bearing in mind that in such situations it is important that we maintain and act with integrity and dignity of that befitting a principle centred leader/person; acting with integrity in the moment of choice, an act that necessitate we understand and conduct ourselves based on emotional intelligence.
What is emotional intelligence? Ask a Psychologist and they’ll give you the academic & scientific underpinnings of emotional intelligence - however from a layman’s point of view, emotional intelligence asks how do you act/react when somebody winds you up the wrong way?
My first encounter with the principle of emotional intelligence was as a martial art competitor in my younger days, I would compete in karate kumite competition – semi contact, the rule of engagements in a semi contact fight is such: strikes to the body can be hard however must be pulled back, strikes to the head/face must not leave a mark – and these a thing called the 10sec rule, meaning that after break off you have 10 seconds to return to your line otherwise you’d loss by disqualification.
Competing for a place on the England Karate Squad, my opponent comes in and ‘PAW’ hits me full contact to the head, well I lost it (my temper) and I went in all heart and no direction looking to get even – verdict well you guessed it, the lack of emotional intelligence cost me a place on the England Karate Squad – that year.
My second encounter was in 1994 I’m the team captain and number 1 fighter for the Great Britain Karate Team in Berlin, and I’m fighting this old school, steel eyed looking Karateka – we square off and I advance [I attack – head body] ½ point awarded to me – I advance again this time my opponent comes in with no control “smack” HARD!! To the face; was I in pain? – yes, was I upset? – yes, did I want to get even? – You’d better believe it. With a throbbing pain along the left side of my face and wanting to get even, I step to the line. I look back at my team members, and I’m thinking we win this match and we take home the golden bear (the trophy). I’m the team captain and first fighter which means that I set the tempo of the team – I have a choice I could go for personal satisfaction or lead my team to gold, I look back again and know that I have to lead the team to gold, But I have one problem – I want to get even.
The referee about to motion fight, I step off line and take advantage of the 10 sec rule to get centred, to do a bit of deep breathing and some self talk “win the fight – get even by winning the fight – get even by winning the fight in style – get even by winning the fight like a champion “ after 9seconds I step to the line totally centred and go on to win the match– verdict my role as leader and responding with emotional intelligence to the dynamics of the moment led us to victory.
Emotional intelligence is all about getting centred within ourselves so that we can act with choice response as opposed to stimuli (natural) reaction. Bearing in mind that we emotional people are fragile beings, how to you think that a leader who does not understand emotional intelligence will treat his or her subordinates when he or she has been hacked off? Harshness and Abrasiveness come to mind
Being treated in a harsh or abrasive manner does not inspired, motivated, or empower us to go fought and take care of our customers, spouse, & children with respect, kindness & love.
To conclude ladies and gentlemen; Friends I beseech you as leaders, as a group of individuals whom by the order of heaven have been given the power to influence and affect the lives of people that have sort our guide to help them fill fulfilled; that when we; ladies are in the valley; and men we have entered our cave, to take 10 seconds to get centred within ourselves and respond to our customers, co-workers, students, spouse, children, in the heat of the moment with the love that we are.
